The Unexpected Little Things He Uses

Today was a hard day. No particular reason, other than just one of those days. The day started, for different individual reasons, marked by the proverbial "people getting off on the wrong side of the bed." me included. Little comments, begat little looks, which in turn sparked snide remarks which triggered past hurts leading to argument and hurt feelings. Relationships can be messy places, and in the everyday of life, in the walking, we at times have a tendency to hurt each other. Normally, when hurt happens in loving families, you apologize for your part and you love through and forgive. No big deal, all in the ebb and flow of close family life, but for some reason, today in my mind, it was a big deal.

Perhaps this long season we are walking, has been weighing heavier on my heart and mind than I have noticed. Like a slow constant trickle of water, the current events adorning all social media outlets with their darkness, begin to take their toll. The pandemic, natural disasters, hatred, unrestrained evil invigorated by the undercurrent of not so well hidden agendas, the all out shameless onslaught on decency, and the constant pointing of fingers, has been a relentless assault on the senses for most, and I am no exception.

My life although not bereft of its share of hardship, cannot be described in any other form than as a series of undeserved blessings. Gratitude should be what emanates from my being every second of the day, from the moment my eyes open, until those same sentinels close to rest at night. But today, I sank into the dark hole of self-pity. Today, I began to feel as if I had nothing left to give. Today, I thought of myself as a failure. What difference can anything I say or do make? Unrest invades even my own home and you are a participant if not the driving force. What kind of a follower of Christ are you? The accusatory voices grew louder as they tend to do when you stay "in your head" after being triggered or bothered by something that wants to lie to you by connecting your present to past events and feelings.

A thought germinated into a good decision, and I got up from my chair of woe to go outdoors for some physical activity. As I stepped into the warm water of my pool, my eye caught the sight of a little bee belly-up on the surface. No big deal. I'll just scoop it up with the rest of the floating leaves, as is my custom to do before I start a workout. I reached for the net, and I noticed its little legs move. It is here I must admit, that I am in no way a bug activist, or that fond of insects in general. I understand the beauty of all of God's creatures, and how they interact with each other in the delicate balance of His purpose. I believe that we are responsible for safe guarding the planet we have been given... but never in a million years, would I have conceived of myself being involved in a bee rescue operation in my own backyard. But that is exactly what ensued.

I carefully scooped it up in my hand and placed it safely on the hot brick surface of my patio. As I watched it slowly move, I found myself more and more emotionally involved in the bee's inconceivable recovery. I think if I could have given that little guy CPR I would have. The bee was doing its part in the fight for its life. Slowly, it began to move and shake its little legs in an effort to dry up. For twenty minutes I audibly cheered, and yes, even prayed for this little guy to live. Crazy, I know, but the bee suddenly paused, and in a most magnificent moment, it took off in heavenly flight accompanied by the loud yells of "Yes!" "Yes!" of a solitary mad figure in a pool with raised arms. As I stood there in the great silliness and beauty of the moment, emotions flooded my eyes with tears, as a thought germinating from His loving Spirit spoke gently in my mind. "You see I care, and you still have purpose"